This is not the post I intended to share with you all today, but as I was having my devotion time last night I just felt that I needed to stray from my scheduled post and share my thoughts with you all. So here they are:
Lately I have been really convicted about where I am as a wife. I often catch myself feeling like a bad wife. Rather than facing these feelings I bury them hoping that I will magically become a better wife or forget about these feelings all together. I don’t think that I am a horrible wife, but I do feel like there are areas in my marriage and my role as a wife that I can improve upon.
Last night I decided to sit down and write out the areas where I can improve as a wife. Doing this was extremely helpful, because 1) I love lists and find them beneficial and 2) my issues became visual, specific issues that I could work on. After listing out the areas where I could improve I no longer felt like I sucked at being a wife as a whole. Rather I felt like a woman who could now actively improve in specific areas of her marriage.
| Area #1 | I don’t keep our house clean enough. Okay y’all, confession time – I hate cleaning. Dishes are the worst; followed closely by dusting; and cleaning the bathroom. I let our house get way too disgusting. My greatest struggle is with clutter. If Lyle leaves his dirty clothes laying on the floor or his dirty dishes in the living room, my brain immediately says, “That’s his mess. He can clean it.” Then in turn that clutter completely demotivates me to clean up my mess, and then it becomes this vicious cycle of whose mess is whose and nothing gets cleaned up. Believe me, I know this is completely ridiculous. I should just clean up the mess instead of let it sit there, but I don’t, and this is something I definitely need to work on as a wife.
| Area #2 | I don’t cook enough. Cooking is almost as bad as cleaning. I know that a lot of people enjoy it, but I find it boring. Just last night I went and picked up food from McDonald’s instead of cooking (but to defend myself I only had like 10 minutes before teenagers would arrive at our house for a Bible study and I still had to finish cleaning our aforementioned filthy house and McDonald’s was just across the street from our house). But enough with my excuses! I can say that I have worked on this one for the past couple of weeks, and I do feel as though I am improving in this area.
| Area #3 | I don’t pray enough for Lyle. There are so many ways that I can pray for my husband. So why don’t I do this more? I found this post by Lindsay Louise Thomas about praying for your husband, and I am thinking about incorporating this into my daily prayer life. Since I try to journal everyday, I have decided to try to write out my prayers for Lyle in my journal.
| Area #4 | I don’t encourage Lyle enough. By nature I am a pretty pessimistic type of person. I always notice the bad in situations and people. I so badly wish that this wasn’t my nature and I am constantly trying to work on this. This part of my personality affects my marriage and the way that I relate to my husband. I don’t compliment him enough. Instead I criticize more often than not and I hate that. That is not okay. Lyle is such a great man. He is kind, patient, strong, incredibly smart, and strives to be more like God. It is my responsibility as his wife to compliment him on those things. I should encourage him daily.
| Area #5 | I don’t play enough games with him. Lyle loves games – video games, board games – really all games. Instead of suggesting we play games in the evenings I sit my lazy butt on the couch and do whatever I want to do, and because Lyle always tries to put my needs before his own he will sit with me and watch whatever movie or show I am watching. I need to take his example more and pull out a board game to play together.
| Area #6 | I don’t listen to him talk about his interests enough. This area closely correlates with the one above, but I really felt like I needed to list it separately. Lyle loves to talk about his job and geeky computer stuff that I often times don’t understand. I have noticed lately that I don’t listen to him enough when he talks. I don’t intentionally ignore him, but I catch my mind wandering off.
I cannot become complacent in my role as a wife. With God’s conviction, I have realized that I am struggling in these areas as a wife, and with God’s help I know that I can improve.
| Have your struggled in any of theses areas? How did you improve? |